Meditation and the Art of Living and Dying

 by Michal Cohen

The wish to live is innate in any living creature. All animals and human beings alike do all they can to live and not to die. Death, however, is there all the time. Humans are given the gift of being able to look into this vast mysterious field. Yet, the ethos of modern society seems to do all in its power to ignore death. Therefore, when death comes we are surprised, frustrated, frightened and unprepared.
The spiritual journey encourages a very different approach to death. Death is there at every moment and therefore it is to be looked at. Spirituality of any kind is interested in penetrative clarity rather than denial, and from this perspective looking at death is as important as looking at life. Clarity comes from a courageous approach: one that is willing to look into the nature of things until full realization and peace come about.
Meditation practice offers numerous ways to look into life and death. In this article I’ll present a few. You may choose to practise them all, or pick one or more that call to your heart. Remember: the following are some practical hints to hopefully help you find your own way around this most significant aspect of our lives. The most important thing is to keep an open mind and a soft heart so that the Truth can reveal Itself.

The practice of watching the breath Watching the breath is an essential practice in many spiritual paths. Most methods suggest that one just breathes normally and mindfully. It is possible to focus the attention on the nostrils, the chest, or the lower belly. This practice is perfectly simple and yet has countless profound benefits. Here are some of them.
Watching our breath helps us cultivate calmness and equanimity. Getting in contact with the gentle rhythm of the breath calms the body and mind. If we practise in this way long enough, the breath becomes a reliable base: a base to which we can always come back when circumstances become intense. The more skilled we are, the better is the chance that we will be able to find peace of mind in any given situation, be it even the hardest one, even facing death. We can always come back to base, rest for a while and when we face the external reality again we do it freshly. Connecting to prana, the life-energy, is in a way charging our run-down batteries. But watching the breath can teach us much more then this. The breathing process is the life process. The breath, carrying prana, spontaneously comes in and out of the body. Life depends on the body receiving prana. When prana enters the body we are born, and in a sense, when it leaves we die. And it’s an on-going flow. Every inhalation can be considered our last. At the end of every exhalation we die. This practice teaches us that life and death are part of one process. We get to know that for life to be (in the form of inhalation), there has to be death (in the form of exhalation). When we realize, not as an intellectual speculation but rather as a fact, that we die at every moment, our relationship with death changes radically. We realize that we already “started to die” when we took our first in-breath.

The practice of reflection Meditation practices often use reflection. Reflection is more than mere thinking. When one reflects on a statement, a question or a fact, ones whole being merges into the subject of reflection. The practitioner becomes one with the mystery of life as expressed in that subject. The practice itself involves allowing a meaningful question or statement to be present in the heart and mind. It’s best not to look for an answer, but rather to reject all answers and remain in the state of ‘peaceful not knowing’. Practising in this way, we are centred and interested, even fascinated, by the mystery of life. Not knowing is of great benefit. It allows us to put everything under a new light, and helps us get closer to Truth, which is beyond concepts and answers. Here are a few reflections:

Reflection 1: Watching the breath and death of the ego
Traditional Zen poetry is all about spiritual realization. Zen-poems, therefore, are wonderful to reflect on. In one poem the poet encourages the reader to die. ‘Die’, he says, ‘Here and now. Die fully.’ This death is not only metaphoric, but refers to death of the ego. Spiritual practices, including watching the breath, help us let go of our false identification. We die to what we think we are: our bodies, views and opinions, emotions, personality and so on. Letting go of the ego awakens us to spiritual insight. The poet continues: ‘Had you died once (as explained above), you’ll never die again’. If nothing is left of “you” there is no fear of death. That which was never born cannot die.
If you find this inspiring you may want to combine watching the breath with remembering the death of your body-mind. Sit in a comfortable position and become aware of your breath moving in and out. With every inhalation feel as though you are putting on your personality and ego - just as you would put on a uniform ready to fulfil a role. With every exhalation feel as though you are completely letting go of it, offering it back to the Universe as naturally as you let go of the breath.

Reflection 2: “Who am I?”
The Indian teacher Ramana Maharshi recommended reflection on the question “Who am I?” as a fundamental practice. When the practitioner reflects on this question, rejecting all answers, he or she realises that we are not the body, nor even the emotions, mind and the personality. We are something completely different. What we really ARE was never born and is therefore not threatened by life and death. This leads us to the understanding that death is no more then a change in the form; it does not touch the essence of our Being. This understanding greatly diminishes our concern about life and death. If you choose to practice in this way, its good to be aware of the trap of getting too intellectual. Abstract ideas are of some benefit but they can’t help us facing death wholeheartedly. Keep on rejecting any answer that comes from the known. Allow the unknown to reveal itself through you.
The following reflections can help us get to the same realisation in a slightly more detailed, step by step, way.

Reflection 3: “No beginning, no middle, no end”
Choose an event in your life and reflect: “When did it start? Where was the middle of it? When did it end? For example, a person attends a Yoga course in the Ashram. Did it start when she arrived? When she picked up the phone to get information? When she talked with her boss about taking some days off work? When she first heard about it? When a friend told her? Or when this friend started his course?
When did it end? On the tenth day? When she had had enough? When she reached home? When she stopped thinking and talking about it? When all she had learned was forgotten? What if one of her friends was impressed and wanted to go on a Yoga course as well. Is that a new event, or is it a continuation?
One can never find a real point in time of beginning or end, so it’s practically impossible to talk about middle. It’s just the same with our life. When did it start and when will it end? We think life starts with the birth of the body and ends when it ceases to function. But can we really say when a person starts or ends? The answer is NO. We “start” way before we get out of our mother’s womb, and we stay long after our body is cremated or buried. There is no way to point to the beginning or the end of life. The following reflection can help us see this in a very concrete way.

Reflection 4: “What’s left from them?”
Remember someone who was close and dear to you and who died. Find a way to feel their closeness and presence in the present moment. You may remember their face, feel their energy or hear them giving you some advice. Remain in their company for as long as you can. From this place of connection reflect: “What mark and footprint have they left in my life? What was the meaning of their life? What’s left of them? Is it possible to still feel their presence? Their blessing? Their support and guidance? What does this teach me about life and death?”
This reflection can help us see that the person’s being is not limited to their physical bodies. You can see that a deep connection can survive even the painful separation that is brought about by death. This realization does not require denial of the fact of death; it only allows us a wider view of it, a profound penetration into the nature of life and death and the rich net of interconnections that lies at the base of existence.
Variation: Bring to mind a famous spiritual/ social/ political/ or religious leader such as Jesus Christ, the Buddha, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa or Mahatma Gandhi. Appreciate and rejoice in the gift that they have given humanity. Then reflect in the same way suggested above.
When one lives life fully, life becomes an expression of Truth. An accomplished and fulfilled life is easier to let go of. Regrets and feelings of lost opportunities magnify the pain of separation and death. The way we live is a major factor in the way we die. We often live our lives pushed and pulled by circumstances, giving little attention to what is really important for us. We chase money, prestige, comfort, and pleasures. However, people facing death are rarely bothered by these things. They are much more likely to ask themselves: “Have I loved enough? Have I lived enough? Have I fulfilled my destiny?” This is why so many spiritual paths, including Yoga, encourage practitioners to remember that life is finite and to act fully Now.
The following reflection is directly concerned with this very point.

Reflection 5: “Knowing that death is certain, what shall I do?”
Sit quietly and allow this question to penetrate your whole being. You may want to repeat it a few times. Feel the space that it leaves you in and keep repeating the question when your mind drifts.
You can also ask yourself: “What is it that I should do? What is my role in life? What is it that asks to be fulfilled through me?” This reflection, when done honestly and fearlessly, can caste new light into our life. We may realise that we have to change some of our priorities, the way we spend our time and money; or maybe we have to change something in our relationships.
We may find that much of the fear of death is actually based on lamenting the missed opportunities we were given: our chances to truly live. This is indeed the reason why this reflection is so crucial. It gives us the chance to see things for what they are and to change what needs to be changed so we are more alive - fully alive – before we die.
On the other hand, this reflection may leave you in a very peaceful state. If you find that your life is meaningful and complete (even though not perfect) as it is, your fear of death may ease a little, or even evaporate. You may say to yourself: “I’ve lived my life fully, I have no regrets, and I’m ready for the next step, whatever that may be.”

Conclusion
Meditating and reflecting in the spirit suggested here, we realize that our meeting with death is indeed our meeting with life. They are not two sides of one coin, but rather facets of the same Truth. Resisting death is resisting life. We see that death is not only an inevitable point at the end of life, but rather a gift that is given to us in every moment, if we only dare to accept it. Death gives us the gift of fully embracing life. May all beings know the significance of death and the joy of living.